she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
