So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
