This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize