dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
