thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
