I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize