can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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