we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize