Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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