new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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