did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
