I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
