You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
