hotel room ftw
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize