I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
