yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
