I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
