The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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