Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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