Well douche your snatch and let's go!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
