worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
foreskin is a definite game changer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
