did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize
