i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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