i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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