This dress was meant to end up on your floor
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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