i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
