i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
