can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
