she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
this just has baby written all over it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
