5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize