Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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