??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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