It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
