We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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