Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
