I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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