it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize