it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
