i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize