haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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