Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
