Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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