when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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