So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
