New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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