in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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