yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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