Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
