I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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