That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I look excited, but its just a facade.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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