i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
