You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize