You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dick very happy bro
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
