Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
