What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
