I think i sorta joined a cult last night
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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