i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize