We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
