taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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