i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
