I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
