I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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