please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
